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Only PARTIALLY hydrogenated. Damn. These people never do something all the way, do they?

By Andrew Pollack on 01/12/2006 at 02:00 PM EST

The image below is what happens if you leave a Cheese Puff on a piece of notebook paper overnight. This is because the cheap bastards are only PARTIALLY hydrogenating their vegetable oil.

For those who never bothered to look this up, the big chemical difference between good old fashioned animal fat and vegetable fats (oils) comes down to the number of hydrogen atoms in the molecule. The result of this lower amount of hydrogen atoms ends up being that vegetable fat is a liquid at room temperature while animal fat is a solid at that temperature. When they "Hydrogenate" vegetable oil, they make it more like animal fat.

Aside from being yummy, this also prevents the horrors that you see documented below. Come on guys, get this right! We can't be having Cheese Puff's ruining our paperwork. Oh I know these healthy eating wackos claim that by making it more like animal fat it isn't as healthy for you. Here's the thing....they're not living any longer. They're just so boring to be around that it seems like its longer. I am a human. I have incisors for tearing apart meat because I am by nature an omnivore. We know herbivores eat vegetables and carnivores eat meat. Humans, as omnivores eat everything. This includes Cheese Puffs which are nether animal nor vegetable. They are omnibles.

There are  - loading -  comments....

omnibles ...... great word ...... :-)By Jens on 01/12/2006 at 04:46 PM EST
..... or maybe with a scientific word: holones ...... :-)
Spelling = omnibblesBy Julian Robichaux on 01/12/2006 at 08:30 PM EST
Should the spelling of that food group (?) actually be "omnibbles"?
That is, two omnibbles ......By Jens on 01/13/2006 at 02:16 AM EST
..... make an ombyte ....... :-)
beware of abomnibbles By Dan Sickles on 01/16/2006 at 01:06 AM EST
abomnibbles - those bogus crunchy cheese snacks baked by anyone other than
those master chefs of American snackery Frito-Lay. Generically: any bogus

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