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Child labor implicated in the production of C.U.L.T. shirts for 2005!

By Andrew Pollack on 01/08/2005 at 08:40 PM EST

An anonymous tip totally unrelated to UNICEF, Doctors Without Borders, the AARP, the Democrats, the Republicans, or Microsoft today reported that child labor has been used to produce materials related to this year's CULT 2005 T-Shirts.

The CULT (Certified Unofficial Lotusphere Tshirts) shirts are an annual event at Lotusphere, and are produced by a team of highly motivated but otherwise misguided consultants. The shirts -- this year in excess of 1500 -- are distributed to attendees of the conference at no charge. When asked how the shirts would generate money at an event which does not pay for them, distributed free to attendees, C.U.L.T. shirt co-designer Andrew Pollack said "We've been watching Sun Microsystems for years now, and feel that surely if giving away everything of any possible value is working for them, it can work for us as well. Its like that organization that existed back in the 1970's which was frequently interviewed on SNL news 'The Bank of Change' who made all their money on volume."

The team of producers, clearly mad as hatters, had no comment on the subject of their use of child labor in the packaging process, though one of the employees made a gesture with her tongue while saying "ppttttttttttttttttttttttsssss".

There are  - loading -  comments....

My own thoughts on this are...By Ben Langhinrichs on 01/09/2005 at 11:21 AM EST
Besides the deplorable use of child labor, I notice that none of those children
pictured are of different races, ethnicities, or genders. For shame! (and make
sure you reserve an XXL for me, please)
And Ben, you did not point out that they were all short and thin. Discrimination in the worst sense is rampant hereBy Henry Newberry on 01/09/2005 at 11:32 AM EST
hilarious!By jonvon on 01/10/2005 at 02:09 PM EST
can't wait to see the new shirts! are they multithreaded?

ouch!By Devin Olson on 01/11/2005 at 06:07 PM EST
multithreaded? PHEEYEEEWWW thats a true stinker.

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