Andrew Pollack's Blog

Technology, Family, Entertainment, Politics, and Random Noise

The Republican Party Belief System

By Andrew Pollack on 09/21/2006 at 01:41 PM EDT

This was sent to me the other day, it's funny. If someone has one crafted as well to make fun of the Democrats, send it and I'll post that too.
WHAT YOU NEED TO BELIEVE TO VOTE REPUBLICAN

  1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hated of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
  2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a we cant find Bin Laden diversion.
  3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
  4. The United States should get out of the United Nations and our highest priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
  5. A woman cant be trusted with decisions about her body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind
    without regulation.
  6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans benefits and combat pay.
  7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents wont have sex.
  8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
  9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
  10. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
  11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
  12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
  13. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.
  14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you are a conservative radio host. Then its an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
  15. Support Executive Privilege for every Republican ever born, who will be born, or who might be born (in perpetuity).
  16. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the 80s is irrelevant.
  17. Support hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail.

There are  - loading -  comments....

Here's a related link I thought funny...By on 09/21/2006 at 11:31 PM EDT
http://www.thefrown.com/player.php?/frowners/becomerepublican


Other Recent Stories...

  1. 03/26/2019Undestanding how OAUTH scopes will bring the concept of APPS to your Domino serverWhile a full description of OATH is way beyond what I can do in this quick blog entry, I wanted to talk a bit about how "SCOPES" interact with the already rich authorization model used by Domino. Thanks to the fantastic work by John Curtis and his team, the node.js integration with Domino is going to be getting a rich security model. What we know is that a user's authorizations will be respected through the node.js application to the Domino server -- including reader names, ACLs, Roles, and so on. The way ...... 
  2. 02/05/2019Toro Yard Equipment - Not really a premium brand as far as I am concernedDear Toro Customer Service, I arm writing about the following machine: Toro Power Max 1120 OXEModel:38654S/N:31000#### Specifically, bearing part #:63-3450 This is the part ($15 online / $25 at the local dealer) that caused me to raise my objections on-line. This piece of garbage is supposed to be a bearing. It carries the shaft which drives both stages of the auger. The shaft passes through the bearing (which is what bearings do) after the auger drive pulley as the shaft goes through the back (engine ...... 
  3. 10/08/2018Will you be at the NYC Launch Event for HCL Domino v10 -- Find me!Come find me in NYC on Wednesday at the Launch Event if you're there. I really do want to talk to ...... 
  4. 09/04/2018With two big projects on hold, I suddenly find myself very available for new short and long term projects.  
  5. 07/13/2018Who is HCL and why is it a good thing that they are now the ones behind Notes and Domino? 
  6. 03/21/2018Domino Apps on IOS is a Game Changer. Quit holding back. 
  7. 02/15/2018Andrew’s Proposed Gun Laws 
  8. 05/05/2016Is the growing social-sourced economy the modern back door into socialism? 
  9. 04/20/2016Want to be whitelisted? Here are some sensible rules for web site advertising 
  10. 12/30/2015Fantastic new series on Syfy called “The Expanse” – for people who love traditional science fiction 
Click here for more articles.....


pen icon Comment Entry
Subject
Your Name
Homepage
*Your Email
* Your email address is required, but not displayed.
 
Your thoughts....
 
Remember Me  

Please wait while your document is saved.