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Imminent unplanned satellite re-entry

By Andrew Pollack on 02/17/2008 at 12:30 PM EST

Have no fear, FEMA is here. Our government is protecting us from the imminent unplanned satellite re-entry. Here you'll find the documents forwarded through our incident management chain of command. For those of you reading this story from outside the U.S., you can likely follow the same procedures.
First Responder Guide Memo 02-14-08.docFEMA ERG Responder Guide - Space Object - FINAL-02-14-2008.pdf


Guys, I've seen this in the movies a dozen times and I know just what happens. You may wish to acquire this critical information to supplement your skills if the worst happens.

http://tinyurl.com/cehkd


There are  - loading -  comments....

re: Imminent unplanned satellite re-entryBy Duffbert on 02/17/2008 at 01:57 PM EST
How come those memos don't make me feel any safer? :)
It is the nature of hazmat.By Andrew Pollack on 02/17/2008 at 03:25 PM EST
The more you learn about what travels the roads and rails every day and the
nature of precautions you have to take if something goes wrong, the more
terrified you'd be.

It is SO hard for me to pass through airport security without laughing these
days...
RailsBy Turtle on 02/17/2008 at 06:02 PM EST
I grew up living next to a Lehigh Valley double-track mainline (they took the
line out in 1976). We'd have all sorts of strange derailments... one year it
was Miller High Life, which is definitely hazmat. Another time it was a boxcar
full of Duncan Hines cake mixes, so we had cake and muffins for about two years
afterward.
re: Imminent unplanned satellite re-entryBy Danny Lawrence on 02/19/2008 at 02:30 PM EST
Andrew, between this posting and the one about analog TV going away, I think
you are demonstrating an unhealthy interest in zombies. I can assure that the
who zombie thing is nothing more than . . . Unnnhhh . . . Arrrggh . . .
brains! Brains!! Need brains NOW . . . . . .


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