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The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!

By Andrew Pollack on 10/20/2010 at 07:05 AM EDT

Every year, the back of the C.U.L.T. shirt (Certified Unofficial Lotusphere Tshirt) includes a top ten list of one kind or another. This year is no exception. The topic for this year is Cloud Computing, and I'm looking for the best ten one line items in the following category:

"Top Ten Things to Know about IBM in the Cloud"

By "Best" things, I'm looking for things that are clever, funny, snarky, witty, subversive, and eye catching without being overly wordy, slanderous or libelous in any actionable way. Please think and then post.


There are  - loading -  comments....

Here's my entry to get us startedBy Andrew Pollack on 10/20/2010 at 07:10 AM EDT
The Cloud is a Lie!
re: Here's my entry to get us startedBy Werner Motzet on 10/20/2010 at 07:36 AM EDT
but IBMs is proud
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Gabriella Davis on 10/20/2010 at 07:38 AM EDT
They're so FLUFFY!!
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Chris Miller on 10/20/2010 at 12:09 PM EDT
I second this one. Loved that line
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Alan Lepofsky on 10/21/2010 at 12:31 AM EDT
Love it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nSINQJlSTc
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Werner Motzet on 10/20/2010 at 07:52 AM EDT
The Cloud is IBMs Proud(ness)
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Chris Toohey on 10/20/2010 at 08:00 AM EDT
The strategy is [spot-]on premise...
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Rob McDonagh on 10/20/2010 at 08:22 AM EDT
I got yer cloud RIGHT HERE
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Rob McDonagh on 10/20/2010 at 08:24 AM EDT
The cloud: outsourcing, but with added fluffy softness...
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Rob McDonagh on 10/20/2010 at 08:34 AM EDT
Cloud (noun) [kloud]: A fully buzzword compliant technique for fixing things
that aren't broken.
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Peter Presnell on 10/20/2010 at 09:32 AM EDT
Never invest in company whose future is cloudy.
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Peter Presnell on 10/20/2010 at 09:35 AM EDT
Reach for the stars via the clouds
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Patrick Kwinten on 10/20/2010 at 09:36 AM EDT
Connections is the new oil.
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Peter Presnell on 10/20/2010 at 09:37 AM EDT
Lots of clouds today, leading to sunshine tomorrow.
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Bruce on 10/20/2010 at 09:52 AM EDT
Replicating in the cloud is considering a mitzvah.
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By rharan on 10/20/2010 at 10:05 AM EDT
Got Cloud?
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Jasper on 10/20/2010 at 10:40 AM EDT
Every cloud has a silver lining
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Richard Schwartz on 10/20/2010 at 11:16 AM EDT
LotusLive iNotes and Notes Web.. the cloudiest product names ever!
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Mike McGarel on 10/20/2010 at 12:15 PM EDT
It's where IBM wants to reign
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Mike McGarel on 10/20/2010 at 12:22 PM EDT
Using the silver to line our pockets
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Mike McGarel on 10/20/2010 at 12:29 PM EDT
Coloring the sky IBM blue
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Patrick Picard on 10/20/2010 at 08:39 PM EDT
Every cloud has a silver lining.....but it aint a silver bullet!
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By John Powilaites on 10/20/2010 at 02:10 PM EDT
You must be HIGH to go to the cloud
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Peter Presnell on 10/20/2010 at 02:32 PM EDT
IBM is creating clouds while Microsoft keeps making fog
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By John Powilaites on 10/20/2010 at 02:54 PM EDT
"The future of the Cloud is cloudy"

or for the coders:

Function Cloudy
Print "The future of the Cloud is" & Cloudy()
End Function
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Ethann Castell on 10/20/2010 at 03:02 PM EDT
Tomorrow's forecast: Yellow clouds with an increasing chance of Xpages.
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Werner Motzet on 10/20/2010 at 03:30 PM EDT
The Cloud is a castle in the air |~|--/~\--|~|
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Mike McGarel on 10/20/2010 at 04:17 PM EDT
It's all about Cloudaboration
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Bob Balaban on 10/20/2010 at 04:33 PM EDT
It's cloud's illusions i recall
i really don't know clouds, at all
-- Joni Mitchell
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Andy Donaldson on 10/20/2010 at 06:58 PM EDT
The Cloud: It just means someone else is taking care of the back end for you.
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Bob Balaban on 10/20/2010 at 08:32 PM EDT
I don't install it.
I can't program it.
How the fuck am I supposed to make money from it?
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Keith Brooks on 10/20/2010 at 08:35 PM EDT
"So you, thought you, might like to, go to the Cloud"
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Keith Brooks on 10/20/2010 at 08:36 PM EDT
IBM's Cloud is decades old, just like the guy wearing this shirt
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Keith Brooks on 10/20/2010 at 09:16 PM EDT
The Rolling Stones called and they want you to get off of their Cloud.
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Nathan T. Freeman on 10/20/2010 at 09:23 PM EDT
Though I don't actually agree with the sentiment, I've always been fond of...

Clouds are made of vapor. Q.E.D.
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Alan Lepofsky on 10/21/2010 at 12:33 AM EDT
Cloud, or as IBM calls it: "Hosting your application in a secure data center
that is not within the physical boundaries of one of your organization's
buildings"
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Werner Motzet on 10/21/2010 at 04:10 AM EDT
What happens with the comments of yesterday?
Yesterday's CommentsBy Andrew Pollack on 10/21/2010 at 08:40 AM EDT
Sorry. Had to make an adjustment to handle the sheer volume of bad ideas.
C'mon guys. There's only a few here that I can even consider using. Think
harder.
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By jason on 10/21/2010 at 04:44 AM EDT
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush/cloud/whatever. You get the
idea...
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Ben Poole on 10/21/2010 at 07:10 AM EDT
Clouds == vapour
* DELETED *By D Vasta on 10/21/2010 at 09:20 AM EDT
* Deleted *

The user who posted this has the distinction of being the only person ever
banned from posting on this site.
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Julian Woodward on 10/21/2010 at 10:32 AM EDT
At last, IBM is taking Lotus cirrusly.
The future is the cloud? Cirrusly?
Lotus in the cloud? You cannot be cirrus!
(and numerous other versions of basically quite a weak gag....)
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Julian Woodward on 10/21/2010 at 11:56 AM EDT
Jean-Cloud van Dammitmyinternetconnectionsucks
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Mike McGarel on 10/21/2010 at 01:27 PM EDT
Cloudsourcing is more profitable than crowdsourcing
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By John Powilaites on 10/22/2010 at 01:20 PM EDT
Clearly
Lotus
Owns
Ur
Domain
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Mike McGarel on 10/22/2010 at 11:52 PM EDT
We believe in the wisdom of the clouds
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Chris Miller on 10/26/2010 at 05:09 PM EDT
I see sunshine on a cloud free day
re: The C.U.L.T. 2011 Top Ten List! Please add your suggestions here!By Henry Newberry on 11/01/2010 at 04:52 PM EDT
The silver in the lining cannot be used to pay the service provider fees.


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