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Santa is not happy. This was forwarded to me today, and may explain...

By Andrew Pollack on 12/03/2005 at 07:02 PM EST

A Christmas Story

'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!

I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And the kids these days--they all are the pits
They want the impossible--Those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,
They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!

Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.

There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season


There are  - loading -  comments....

re: Santa is not happy. This was forwarded to me today, and may explain...By AMANDA on 12/28/2007 at 11:21 AM EST
this poem was sent to me and so i looked up your site and i love it!
re: Santa is not happy. This was forwarded to me today, and may explain...By Kavin on 10/09/2008 at 08:34 PM EDT
** { I have edited this post to remove what seems to be a posted telephone
number. I can't tell if it was entered by a child or by someone else for
whatever reason, but it seemed inappropriate to leave it here -- AJP } **

Hi Santa i want you to tell me your phone number if you dont tell me your phone
number than i will have to tell you my my phone number is {EDITED BY AJP} and
have a grate day from Kavin.


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